something blue
by swirling-summernotes
Summary: Stella was soft-spoken. Louis was vivacious and bright hazel eyed. A story about love, family, commitment, and the occasional cup of coffee. /StellaLouis
1. something old

note: There is a longer note at the end of this. For now, just sit and read. Best with hot chocolate.

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><p>Stella's socks were slipping.<p>

She could feel her thigh-high white socks sliding slowly down her ankle, and it was driving her crazy. Nonetheless, she continued to kick the dresser drawers with the backs of her heels. She wasn't in the mood the fix them. Leaning her head back against the mirror that was attached to the dresser, she blew a piece of hair out of her face.

There were loud voices downstairs, laughter and music floating up to the second floor in a muffled cacophony of noise. If she strained hard enough, she could hear some people's individual voices – like Lily's, always the life and soul of the party. She had escaped for a minute to catch her breath, but it seemed her minute had quickly turned to ten, judging from the digital clock that rested on the nighttable across from the dresser.

The doorknob turned slowly, and Stella turned her head to watch it open with disinterest. In stepped Louis Weasley, in a button down blue shirt and jeans.

He gave her a grin as he shut the door behind him and leaned against it. "What're you doing up here? I don't remember giving you permission to hang out in my room alone," he teased.

Stella gave him a smile in return. "Imagine what your mum would say – a girl alone in your bedroom! Because that's never happened before." She turned her head back to lean against the mirror, chin raised high to the ceiling. "Needed a breather, I guess."

"Ah, I see," Louis said, crossing his arms in front of him. "Understandable. Predictable, actually. That's why I came up here in the first place – I figured this is where you might be."

Stella scrunched her nose at him. "My goodness. Its almost like we've been friends for eight years."

Louis gave a bark of laughter in retort. "Almost like that."

They'd been friends for eight years no doubt, sharing the same group of friends throughout Hogwarts and sharing a dorm room floor at London's University for Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was an easy friendship, relaxed and comfortable, which was more than what Stella could say for some of her other friendships.

"Excited to go back?" Louis asked, running a hand through his hair. "It's been strange not having you there all summer."

Stella licked her lips before replying, measuring her words carefully. "I'm not really sure if uni is my thing. I didn't enroll for second year."

Louis' arms dropped to his side. "What do you mean you didn't enroll for second year?" His eyes held shock, and Stella thought she saw traces of betrayal in his expression.

"I'm sorry, Lou, but it just really wasn't for me – you know that. I spent more nights panicking than I did studying."

"But that was because of your professors. It'll be different this year, you'll see," Louis shook his head. "C'mon. This is the only time in our lives we'll be able to go to uni and experience all this. Don't miss out."

Stella blew the strand of hair out of her face again. "I'm not missing out. I'm not like you, I can't just waste my time doing something I hate when I'm not even sure what I want to do for the rest of my life."

Louis folded his arms once more. "Oh," he said, "so I'm wasting my time?"

"No!" Stella cried, "I didn't mean it like that!"

"Then how did you mean it?"

"I don't know," Stella replied, fumbling for her words, "you're, I don't know, more confident than I am. I just think I need a break from school." She forced a small smile and tapped the side of her head. "This brain's getting a bit overloaded."

"Well, if that's how you feel, fine," Louis said, sighing in defeat. "It won't be the same without you. Now, c'mon, come back down to the party. People are going to start to wonder." He threw her a wink. Stella rolled her eyes in response.

"Oh, shut it. I'm coming." She jumped off the dresser, straightening her dress. Glancing down, she decided to leave her socks bunched at her ankles. Louis held out his arm, and she placed her hand in the crook, taking a deep breath before heading downstairs into the chaos once more.

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><p>Stella jumped down on the last step. Surveying the crowd, she removed her hand from Louis' arm and slowly made her way through the crowds of people towards the kitchen table. Rose and Albus were there, Rose perched on top and Al standing beside her, leaning against the edge with his arms crossed.<p>

They were strange, Stella had decided awhile ago. Not strange in a bad way, but just sort of quirky. They were funny though, and very kind, and Stella always got on well with them.

Like now, as she approached, Rose gave her a grin. "Haven't seen you for awhile – thought you might have disappeared," she said, swinging her legs back and forth.

Stella gave a small shrug in her return. "Needed break, yknow – lots of people here."

Al rolled his eyes. "Story of my friggin' life."

Stella laughed. Al's dry humour was one of the best things about him.

"I'd be more inclined to use 'pathetic', myself, but whatever floats your boat," Rose replied, casually, not missing a beat. Stella giggled even harder. Albus turned to Rose, a look of mock surprise on his face. Rose grinned and pulled him to stand in front of her, wrapping her arms around the front of his neck and letting her arms dangle on his chest. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she turned her attention to Stella once more.

"Are you going back to uni next week, Stell?"

Stella shook her head. "No, actually, I'm looking for work right now. I decided not to go back for this year."

"Any particular reason?"

"Not really. I just didn't love it."

Rose looked at her with clear blue eyes, nodding her head. "Good for you – to know what you don't want and to not do it." She snorted. "Some of the rest of us are floundering around and still don't have a clue.

Stella liked that about Rose. She liked that, even though she knew she was borderline genius, Rose didn't rub it in people's faces. She didn't make others feel lesser. She was transparent when it came to her shortfallings.

"I guess so." Stella took a breath, trying to be brave and honest, like Rose. "I'm – scared, I guess."

Al shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Stell. Failure's a part of the game. "

She looked up and met Al's grass green eyes, honest and relaxed.

"Look at Lily," Rose said suddenly, lifting her head off Al's shoulder and lowering her voice – not that she needed to in a house full of loud music and loud people. Nonetheless, Stella and Albus leaned closer to hear her. "Look at her with Max – I swear she still loves him."

Albus rolled his eyes. "Stop talking about my sister's love life, it gives me the creeps," he said. "She's supposed to be, like, twelve."

"Excuse me, she's my age," Stella retorted.

"Oh, yeah – I forgot," Albus grinned sheepishly.

"She just touched his arm again – that was the third time in the span of less than a minute. She totally loves him. I don't care what comes out of her liar mouth," Rose kept going, ignoring Albus and Stella. "Y'know, she's so brave about everything else, you think she'd be brave enough to tell me she still has a crush on the guy she's liked since she was fourteen."

Stella cleared her throat. "Just a question, but are you guys ever not in each other's business?" She tried to make it sound a genuine as possible – she really was not trying to come across as rude.

Rose and Albus looked at each other and shrugged. "Not really."

Stella turned away to hide her smile.

* * *

><p>Turning the doorknob to Louis' dorm, Stella stepped into the tiny room. Kicking a spare sock out of the way, she looked up to meet Louis' eyes.<p>

He gave her a lazy grin from his position on the bed. He was reading a book, his legs propped up and one hand behind his head. "Was wondering when you'd get here. You were supposed to be here a half hour ago."

"Sorry," Stella replied, pushing her hair out of her face and sitting down in the office chair at his desk. "My boss wanted me to stay fifteen minutes after to fill out some form or another."

Louis shrugged. "No big." He snapped his book shut, and sat up. "Want to go out? It's Saturday night and you've been working like crazy."

She twirled around in the office chair, spinning it around with her feet. "Sure," she said, "sounds like fun. Where are we going?"

"We could go to the club. Or we could go out to eat with a few people from my floor. Mostly people we lived with last year."

Stella stopped twirling. "Dinner! Please? I want to see everybody."

He laughed, beginning to twirl her chair again with his foot. "Sure, get your coat. They said they were meeting at eight."

One thing Stella missed about uni was nights on campus. They walked slowly to the restaurant, which was a few blocks from Louis' dorm. The sky was dark and the air was cool, but there was warm light coming from dining areas and cafes. People bustled around them, moving quickly and bundled in warm jackets and scarves. They laughed and chatted, moving in sync with one another. Stella loved watching. She didn't even realize they were at the restaurant until Louis tugged on her arm to bring her through an old oak door.

The lighting was dim as they stepped in, with low fixtures. The wooden beams and cozy furniture gave the place a rustic feel. A fire greeted them in the front entrance, and a hostess was standing by. Louis gave her their information, and the hostess gave him directions to their table. Louis led Stella to a long wooden table that had all her uni friends sat around it.

They welcomed the duo with open arms. One girl in particular Stella was happy to see. Ellis was a tall girl with wavy hair and a friendly smile. She had been Stella's roommate in the past year, and Stella had missed her greatly over the summer.

Now, the two girls squealed as they were reunited. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you," Ellis gushed, rocking back and forth with Stella in her arms. "Stand back, I want to get a good look at you." She held Stella by her shoulders, surveying her up and down. "Gorgeous, as always," she said as Stella giggled.

Louis pulled out a chair for her inbetween him and Ellis, and between them, Stella had the best night she had had in a long while. The conversation flowed easily between the group of friends, food being shared and laughs being had.

"Where's Lily?" Max asked. He was seated in front of them, and popped a fry in his mouth as he spoke.

"Not sure, actually," Louis commented, "I haven't heard from her in a day or so. She must be at the dorm, studying."

Ellis leaned over Stella, her hair falling in her face as she laughed. "Lily? Studying? Get real, Louis."

Max cracked a grin. "Touche. She's probably at a club."

"What's got you so interested anyway?" Payton asked from beside Max. She was Max's twin and a vivacious blonde with a lot of spunk, who also happened to be one of Lily's best friends. "Go away," Max replied, swatting his sister out of the way.

This is what Stella missed – the community and the friends she had made here. She often looked back and wondered if her choice to leave was the right one.

Halfway during her soup, Ellis leaned in and whispered in her ear, "do you know what, I'll tell you something. I do believe you have a grade school crush on Mr. Weasley."

Stella felt her cheeks grow hot and ducked her head, whispering fiercely at Ellis, "no, I do not. We're friends, always have been friends."

Ellis snorted. "Except for that year you dated, of course."

Making sure that Louis was still immersed in his meal and his conversation with Max, that forks were still clanging with plates, she turned back to Ellis. "We were fifteen. It was for nine months, I really don't think it counts. We were kids. I wore bottom eyeliner like it was going of stock next Tuesday. We were hormonal."

The black girl stared at Stella before raising her eyebrows. "I counted only five excuses. Do you have any more?"

"Besides," Stella said, twirling her spoon around in her soup, "even if I did, it would make me look so pathetic. So pathetic."

"Honey, only if he didn't like you back."

"Thanks, Ell." Stella rolled her eyes. "But it's true, you know it is."

"Like I said. You'd only look pathetic if he didn't like you back. And do you know something, I'll tell you what. I think you got a real shot here."

Stella shook her head and tried to push the conversation out of her head because there was no point in dwelling on something as fickle as this would be.

After their meal had been had, Louis silently slid his mobile in front of Stella. On the screen was a text from James, prompting him to come over to his apartment. She looked up to meet Louis' eyes and nodded her head. "Sure," she said quietly. Almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, Louis pushed his chair back. "All right, we're off for the night."

The group protested as the duo stood up, but they said goodbyes and made promises to share another meal together soon. Stella gave Ellis a last hug. Exiting the restaurant, they stepped out into the bustling night.

"Should we walk?" Louis asked. "Or we can go back to the dorm to pick up my car." Stella shook her head. "Nah, let's walk."

"Did you enjoy yourself tonight?" Louis asked, as they set off. Stella looked up at him, nodding her head eagerly.

"I really need to come and see you guys more often. I forgot how much I missed you all."

Louis grinned. "We miss you, too." After a short pause, he asked if she was painting anything new.

"Not really," she replied, breathing deep in her nose and letting the fog come out of her mouth like steam, "I haven't really had any inspiration lately."

Louis put his hands behind his back, half-grinning in a boy-ish way. "Y'know," he said, "I always found inspiration best came when I was doing things that I loved."

Stella laughed. "Inspiration for what? You don't paint."

He shrugged in return. "Inspiration for getting out of bed in the morning, I guess." He paused. "Thanks for coming with me to see my family. I know how much fun you were having."

Stella shrugged. "No big deal, I love your cousins, you know that."

"They're a rowdy bunch of idiots."

"But you love them."

Louis shook his head, grinning. "More than anything."

They reached the lobby of James' apartment and rode the top to the seventh floor. Louis fished out a key from his pocket and entered, holding the door open for Stella.

She had only been to James' once, because Lily had forgot her sweater and stopped by to pick it up. It had seemed smaller then, for some reason, when it was empty.

Louis threw his coat onto the rack as he easily made his way into the kitchen area, where Albus was stirring something on the stove.

Stella took the opportunity to look more fully around the small apartment she had just entered. James was lounging on the couch, feet on the floor in front of him and a beer in his hand as he watched the football game on the telly. Fred was next to him in much the same position. Rose was on the loveseat, buried underneath a white duvet, apparently fast asleep. Lily and Hugo were lying on the floor in front of the telly , reading books. That solved the mystery of where Lily was on a Saturday night, Stella mused.

Roxanne was sitting at the kitchen table, nose buried deep in her textbooks, a pencil wrapped up in her wild hair. She was holding her head in stress, breathing out in a frustrated way as she flipped through her book rapidly. Molly and Lucy were sitting at the other end of the table playing a card game.

Fred looked up from the telly. "Hey, what's she doing here? Potters and Weasleys only."

Stella began to stammer, but Louis cut in from the kitchen, "Shut up, Weasley, she's welcome."

Fred eyed her up and down, finally grinning. "Just joking with you, Stell, I think you're the bee's knees. But don't tell people what we actually do on a Saturday night – we have a reputation to uphold, yknow. We have to seem cool."

Walking into the kitchen, Stella called back, "I will. I expect payment for keeping quiet, however. Cash will do." She heard Fred's bark of laughter and grinned.

The door burst open and Dominque stormed in, blonde hair flying and her bag thumping against her leg. She dropped it by the main entrance and let papers spill out. Throwing herself down next to James, she buried her head in his shoulder and refused to look up.

Stella looked at Louis for an explanation. "That's just Dom," he offered. "She's just having a rough day, I s'pose."

Dominique lifted her head from James' shoulder and looked him square in the eyes before taking the beer out of his hand and taking a long sip. James brushed a lock of hair from her eyes, and took the beer back from her, silent as a mouse. She then stood up and pushed Rose closer into the couch, and crawled next to her under the duvet, closing her eyes and apparently falling asleep as well.

Here was thing about this moment in time, this piece of reality – Stella wanted to soak it into her skin, to feel it so intensely it burned her bones. She wanted to gather up all the pieces of human, all the bits of love and joy and of comfort and familiarity and feel them to the point of collapse. To submerge herself in the room and she wanted to paint how she felt right at this very moment but there might not be enough colours for love, and she supposed there might not be enough words, either. There were never enough words.

Stella breathed deep in through her nose and out again, moving deeper into the kitchen. Louis was standing at the stove with Albus, who was stirring the pot. His forearms rested on the counter as he chatted slowly with Albus, the words coming out like honey. Stella's heart was bursting in her chest for these people, for their tiny piece of home on a Saturday night, and looking at Louis now made her remember the words of Ellis at the restaurant. She craved, in that moment like she never had before, the touch of another human being. And so she made her way to her friend and circled his waist with her arms, laid her cheek between his shoulder blades, felt the warmth of him seep into her skin.

His reaction was slow, as though he wasn't sure of what was happening, but he rested his arms on top of hers and tangled their fingers together, and he continued his conversation with Al, and Stella could feel his words in her ears but she couldn't hear them.

Albus turned the stovetop off and placed the pot of soup (more soup, was it a symbol or a coincidence? Stella thought, but then shook herself for ever thinking soup could be a symbol for anything) and walked into the living room. Stella released Louis and leaned on the doorframe entrance to the living room.

Dominique woke up first, quickly, blonde hair rumpled. She pulled the duvet off of herself and then she pulled it off Rose, who slept on. Dominique wrapped it around herself and made her way to the kitchen table and sat down wordlessly. Albus knelt down beside Rose, and shook her awake. Lily and Hugo marked their pages and helped each other stand, and the telly turned off, and people moved to the kitchen and bowls were set out and soup was poured and –

Stella could not ever have imagined so much rhythm in one place.

Dinner was a calm, steady affair, with lots of crescendos. Mostly James would rile up Fred or Dominique, or Lily, and Lucy would hush them, or Rose, who looked as though she was falling ill. Stella liked to watch Louis laugh, he had a nice, deep laugh, that was authentic and it made her want to laugh, too. Arms were jostled and soup was spilled. It felt as though to she was looking at everything through slow motion, like marmalade was being poured over the kitchen, her bones feeling heavy in the best way and her head riddled with a welcoming emptiness.

She studied Louis' shoulder for a moment, the roundness of it, the strength of it, the skin that stretched smoothly over muscle and covered by dark blue cotton. She thought she could stay here forever, with this family, with him.

In a moment she wanted it more than anything in the world and for the first time, that thought did not scare her.

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><p>Stella kicked off the thick duvet, letting her feet rest on the cold floor. It was Saturday today, which meant that she didn't have to go to work, which was nice. Her job as a secretary for the fourth floor at St Mungo's was easy and steady, and the days passed by with comforting routine, but she was grateful for the day off.<p>

She looked around her large room, the grand oak dresser and the fine hangings around her bed. The clock read 9am. Listening intently, she heard no sounds coming from downstairs – the house was empty, as usual.

Sliding out the door, Stella decided to make herself breakfast. Passing a side table on the way down to the kitchen, she picked up the half empty glass of Firewhiskey and put it in the sink. She wasn't sure how long her father had left it there, but she was willing to bet a few days. She had been spending more of her free time with the Weasleys, and coming home to her house had let her see it with fresh eyes.

It was quiet, at her house.

There was a note stuck to the fridge written by her mother "I've gone out to visit Astoria, darling, won't be back til late. Have a wonderful day, Mum xx". Stella sighed and threw the note in the trash, and got started on her breakfast. Scrambling eggs at the stove, she looked around the house and made a mental list of all the things she had to do today. The house looked like a disaster – to the outsider, everything was in place, but there was dust everywhere. It did not look lived in at all.

Stella finished her breakfast and washed her plate slowly, letting the soapy bubbles soak up to her elbows and warm her hands, and then she got down to the real business of cleaning.

She dusted every inch of the house. She vacuumed like a madwoman. She scrubbed, she soaked, and she fluffed all the pillows. She put the dishes away and she washed her sheets and her clothes, and she was finished at approximately six o'clock that evening. She made her way from the fourth floor to the second, where she lit a fire with her wand and started to read her book.

The quietness stilled her.

She was comfortable here. There used to be days when her parents would fight, big loud screaming matches, and Stella would retreat to her room and cover her ears with her pillow. It was worse when her dad had been drinking, of course, and there were crashes of broken glass and loud sobbing. And as she got older, her parents dealt with their differences by just not spending time together. It wasn't ideal. But it was better than yelling, she supposed. Anything was better than that.

Slamming her book shut, Stella sighed. It was not captivating her attention at all. Grabbing her paint supplies, she set up her easel and began to paint, using the fire as her light.

She dipped the paint in a glorious blue colour, dragging it across the white and feeling the softness of the paint and brush underneath her hand. She thought of Louis and the Weasley/Potters as she swirled her brush around the empty canvas.

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><p>note: me again. I feel like there's some things we need to address before we go on. First of all, I tried to write a StellaLouis before and I gave up on it. If you read that one, please disregard it. Pretend it never happened._ This_ is the story of Stella and Louis. If you didn't read it, then forget what I just said. Secondly, there will be lots more "Muggle" things in this story. I like to think that they made great leaps in technology and modernism when it came to the Wizarding World. You don't have to agree, it's not a big deal. If it annoys you, I'm sorry! Thirdly, I wanted to post this when I had the whole thing finished, but I couldn't wait. I do have a good chunk of it written, though, so expect an update soon. It will be fairly short, maybe only three or four chapters.

This was disgustingly long, I'm sorry. I hope you come to love Stella and Louis like I do. Many thanks for reading!


	2. something new

notes: this is definitely a light piece. If you're in the mood for an intense piece of writing, this may not be for you. But I hope you read it anyways! Happy reading.

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><p>maybe we found love right where we are.<p>

_Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran_

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><p>Knocking lightly, Stella stood on the front steps of the Burrow. In her hand she held a bottle of wine as she tried not to let her nerves get the best of her. Butterflies danced in her stomach as she rocked uncertainly on her feet.<p>

She never did very well in large social groups in the first place- her tongue got all tied up sometimes, and she wasn't the greatest with small talk, she knew that. And throw in the most famous family in all of the Wizarding World, perhaps history, and she was heading for full fledged panic attack. She was also a Nott. It wasn't always handy to be the enemy by default, either.

People used to ask, kids at school rather, how it felt to be a Nott. How did it feel to come from the dark side of the battle? And Stella would blink her blue eyes and think to herself, it feels like blood in my veins and air in my lungs just like you.

Smoothing her blouse – a pretty, pale pink that she thought might make her dark hair stand out – she considered bolting. Never mind the fact that she did know most of the Weasley cousins. There was the also the fact that Louis invited her. Did he see her more than a friend? Was this just a throwaway invitation? Her head hurt from all the assumptions.

They had, after all, been spending more time together, but that was because they were friends. Had been friends since they were eleven.

Finally, after what seemed like ages but was probably only three minutes, the door swung open and Stella was greeted with a grinning Louis.

"Hey!" Louis cried, over-enthusiastically, "You came!" He threw one arm round her shoulders and guided her into the house. She shuffled along with him, unsure as to whether or not she should give the bottle of wine to him or to Molly Weasley.

All the while, she was taking in the sight before her. People were everywhere – which she expected – but she didn't expect it to be this _many. _How did everyone fit in here? It was a wonder the floor didn't fall out from under them, she mused.

"Stella!" She turned around to hear who had called her name – it was Lily, who was standing on top of the kitchen table, looking like she was retrieving something from the chandelier. Upon seeing Stella, Lily jumped down gracelessly, and landed in front of her friend, before crushing her in a hug. "How are you? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," she gushed. "This prat is keeping you all to himself, aren't you, Lou?"

Stella giggled. "I've missed you, Lily."

"'Course you have," Lily replied easily with a wink, crawling back up on top of the table to retrieve whatever was up there. Stella felt curious enough to ask, and so she did.

"A hair scrunchie," answered Lily, "stupid Fred – agh! Fred!"

Fred Weasley had taken that moment to bound down the stairs and saw his little cousin trying to retrieve the hair accessory he apparently had placed there. He gathered her knees in his arms and threw her over his back.

"Yes? Did you call me?" Fred asked innocently.

" Stupid –let – me – down!" Lily screeched, pounding her fists against his back, while Fred laughed and begun to spin in circles.

"C'mon," Louis muttered in her ear, while Stella laughed at her friend, "I want to introduce you to the mature part of my family." He took her arm and the bottle of wine saying, "thanks for this, by the way. I'll let Gran know you brought it over," and set it easily down on the counter.

He led her to the common area, where a few adults were both seated and standing. Stella felt a knot grow in her stomach, and she braced herself for the nerves that would follow. She spotted a beautiful blonde woman who she knew to be Louis' mum, and an elderly woman who she supposed was his gran and three people whom she immediately recognized.

The pleasantries were short and not as awkward as Stella had expected- his mum gave her a warm smile and two kisses, commenting on how much she'd grown since the last time she had seen her at the platform three years earlier on the train going to school. His gran was perfectly friendly, giving her a hug and commenting on how nice it was to finally meet her, and Stella began to relax.

The three people whom Louis introduced as Aunt Hermione, Uncle Ron and Uncle Harry were whom Stella was most nervous to meet. But Louis kept a hand on the small of her back as she shook the hands of the three in turn.

"Nice to finally meet you, Stella," Ron said jovially, giving her hand a firm shake. "Louis has told us lots about you." He winked at her, and she felt her cheeks grow warm.

"Don't be a tease, Ron," Hermione replied with an eye roll, reaching for Stella's hand. "Nice to meet you. We've heard a lot of good things." Her eyes were warm and soft, and though intimidated by her rumoured genius, Stella took a liking to her.

Harry was staying quiet, observing his friends with an amused grin as he took his hand out from the front pocket of his jeans to give hers a shake. He didn't say anything but gave her a friendly grin.

"So, Rose says you took a year off from school," Hermione said to her, "is that right?"

"Um, yes," Stella replied, unsure of where the direction of the conversation was going.

"What made you do that? Did you not like it?"

Realizing she was perhaps talking to the one of the most brilliant witches of her time, Stella was definitely not a comfortable position.

"Not – not really. It's more like I wasn't sure what I wanted to be there for," Stella trailed off lamely.

Hermione nodded her head in understanding. "The great question. Awful, isn't it?" She chuckled lightly. "You'll figure it out."

At the sound of her laughing, Stella relaxed and grinned. "Thanks," she replied. "Any word of advice?"

Hermione was about to say something, but Harry cut in. "Figure out who you are first," he said easily, "the rest will come naturally."

Hermione pouted. "That's what I was going to say," she agreed, "Idiot."

Harry turned to her, cocking his head. "Excuse me, what did you just call me?"

Hermione stuck her nose in the air. "You heard me," she challenged, but her grin gave her away.

"Sorry," Ron apologized, "On behalf of my best friends. They're usually not so immature." To this he received a slap upside the head from Harry, with a "you've got to be kidding me," from Hermione.

"I like them," Stella piped up as she and Louis made their way up the stairs to where Louis' cousins were residing.

Louis chortled. "Good. I know they can be intimidating and all, but they're just normal people, y'know?" He paused. "It was strange to have to see them as opposite when I finally started to grow up and know who they really were." He stopped on the stairs for a moment , tapping his fingers against the banister. Stella turned to face him.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Louis admitted. "I mean, it was different, I just – I don't know. It wasn't like I loved them any less or anything, I just started to see them differently, and I don't know if I really liked it." He leaned back against the banister, his hands resting gently on the top, arms bent.

Stella shuffled to face him, her hands pressed into the banister behind her back. "I get it," she assured. "Almost like you come to the question of, how can I really love you if I don't understand you or who you are?"

"Exactly!" Louis exclaimed. "That's exactly it. And it's not like you don't love them any less or anything –

"It's just this new question of understanding keeps picking at your brain," Stella finished for him.

He poked tongue out, licking his lips. It seemed as though he was measuring his next words carefully. "So, what do you do about it?"

Stella twisted her nose. "I dunno. Ignore it, mostly. Maybe understanding and love don't always go hand in hand. Maybe we just need to accept that rather than try to fix it." She twisted her fingers around and dropped her gaze to the floor. "Sorry," she said hastily.

"For what?" Louis asked, confused for a moment. "You're smart, Stella." He poked her nose lightly with his finger.

Stella hesitantly looked up, meeting his hazel gaze. It was warm and calm, patiently trained on her. She stared back carefully, not sure what she was seeing in them, and not sure she wanted to. Her gaze quickly fell to the floor once again.

"C'mon," Louis said, after a beat had passed between the two, and he led her up the rest of the stairs and into a warm bedroom filled with teenagers and barely legal adults.

An hour later, they were all sat round the dinner table, cousins, aunts, and uncles alike. They passed mashed potatoes and complained about the weather. There were at least four different conversations going on at once, as far as Stella could tell from her side of the table.

"Are you always this quiet?" Roxanne asked her bluntly, halfway through dinner.

Stella looked up to meet the black girl's toffee brown gaze, at a loss for words. "Uh -" she started.

"Roxie, don't be a prick," Louis glared at his older cousin.

"What?" Roxanne shrugged. "It's just a question. It's not like it's offensive or anything."

Stella waved her hand to indicate it was fine. "I'm just not really used to eating with lots of people, that's all," she explained, "it's new territory for me."

Roxanne wrinkled her brow. "But you ate with us a few times this year."

"Not with your_ whole_ family though," Stella stressed, referring to the adults in the room. She picked at her peas, moving them around on her plate.

Roxanne nodded. "Oh, I see." She turned her gaze to Louis. "Was that really all that difficult?" She went back to her dinner without another word, striking up conversation with Lucy next to her.

"Sorry about that," Louis whispered to her, "she's a bit, um, blunt at times."

Stella shrugged. "It's not a big deal," she replied, giving a small smile to assure him that she was fine.

"What do you mean you're not used to eating with a lot of people, though?" Louis asked her casually, pouring more gravy over his turkey. "What about Hogwarts and uni?"

"That's different," Stella answered quickly, grabbing a piece of bread and ripping a piece off. "This is with family." She made sure to keep her voice low.

Spearing a piece of turkey with his fork, he turned to her, confused. "You don't eat with family?"

"Not really."

"Why not?"

Stella shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Just doesn't ever happen, that's all." Louis must have realized her discomfort and let the subject drop.

He didn't understand, Stella realized.

Her eyes swept across the room, over all the people in the kitchen, all the love to be shared – love that Louis had experienced and grown up with. He didn't understand eating alone.

She looked at him and saw uncertainty, dark and unsure, but she knew even clearer that she could love him more than she'd ever loved anyone before.

* * *

><p>"I'm coming to save you, that's what I'm doing," Lily remarked to Stella behind her desk. It was a rainy Tuesday afternoon and Stella still had forty more minutes left of her shift before she was free for the night.<p>

Lily had appeared in a navy blazer and towering heels, explaining she had just come from a presentation in one of her classes.

Blowing air out from her cheeks, Stella checked the clock. "Lil, I still have forty minutes left of my shift," she argued, tapping a pen against the wooden part of her desk.

"Fine, fine, don't blow off work. I even got you a coffee and everything," Lil replied, setting down a paper cup of a steaming drink. Stella gratefully accepted the drink and took a sip, the warm liquid refreshing her and making her feel cozier in the cold and bland office space.

"I'll be done soon, I promise. You can wait for me if you want to?" Stella asked hopefully.

"You know I will," Lily said with a sigh, though a grin was playing on her lips. "Hurry up, missy."

Stella flashed her a smile as Lily walked away and dropped into a seat in the waiting room, her wavy hair swishing as she walked.

Thirty minutes later, Stella was finished her work for the evening. Shutting down her area, she joined Lily in the waiting room and the two began the walk out of the building.

"Where should we go?" Lily asked. "We could go for drinks or for dinner or something."

"Sure," replied Stella easily as she followed her friend out onto the streets of bustling London. It was dark out and Stella wrapped herself more warmly in her coat. "Let's go for drinks."

"Muggle?"

"Yes, please."

The two turned the corner to a small but chic bar that they had frequented a few times before. It was simple and classy, the way Stella liked it, with low lighting fixtures that made everything look glittery and elusive, the way nighttime should be.

They found two stools and shed their jackets, ordering girly Muggle cocktails, a guilty pleasure of them both. They had discovered the beauty of having Muggle drinks sometime during their time at uni together, and frequently wasted their money on them.

"So," Lily started, sipping her drink, "tell me how you've been."

"Oh, good, good," replied Stella, thanking the bartender for her drink and turning to her friend. "Y'know, the usual."

Lily held up her finger. "Hang on." Slipping her hand into her pocket, she reached in to pull out her mobile.

"Ellis wants to know where we're at. Shall I tell her to come meet us?"

"Sure," replied Stella, as Lily clacked out a response on her mobile.

A moment later, Ellis came stumbling through the door, a scarf thrown haphazardly around her neck and her bookbag slapping against her thigh.

"It's bitter out there!" She threw herself down on a stool next to Stella and signaled to the bartender. Lily shook her hair out of her ponytail and turned her attention to Ellis. "El, you should as Stella how she is."

"Okay, that's a strange statement if I ever heard one. But sure. Stell, how are you?"

Stella repeated what she had said to Lily not five minutes previously.

Ellis rolled her eyes. "Okay, wow, thank you for that detailed account of your life. I'm so glad we did this." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, eyes dancing as she waited for Stella to reply.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Details, Stell! How's Louis? Do you like him? Are you going to marry him?" She said the last part with a wink and a teasing smile.

"Oh, my God. I'm going to kill you."

Ellis leaned her head back and laughed. "Why, what's wrong?" But her teasing look gave her away. And the look that Lily was giving her was enough to bury her face in her arms and never look up.

"Excuse me, what?!" Lily cried. "How did I not know this? I thought he was your fifteen year old crush!"

Stella groaned. "This is why I don't tell you guys things."

"Okay, back to the conversation where you were marrying my cousin," Lily said. "Can we re-direct there?"

"Please don't be mad."

"Mad?! I'm not mad at all! I think it's fab, personally," Lily replied, taking a sip of her drink. "Personally I think he could use a girlfriend. He's starting to become just like James, it's bloody annoying. At least Albus has Rose to make him semi-normal. Anyways. What were we saying? Oh, right. Marriage? When's the wedding?"

"Um, no, no plans to marry him just quite yet." Stella traced her finger around the rim of her cocktail glass. "But I think I do have feelings for him. Again. Which is just so great," she ended bitterly.

"It is great!" Ellis encouraged. "What's wrong with that? He's funny, he's relaxed, easy-going, and so cute."

Blowing a piece of her hair out of her face in a frustrated manner, Stella replied, "well, yes I agree with all of those things, obviously. It's just, I don't know. It's not worth it. We're so different. We come from completely different backgrounds. And I don't even know if he likes me back." Stella took a sip of her drink, waiting for her friend to reply.

Ellis looked at her inquisitively, her eyes searching Stella's before saying, "I think he does, Stell. And I'm not even just saying that. We've all been commenting on how much time he's spent with you lately, and he's obviously going out of his way to spend time with you since you don't even live near all of us anymore. Don't you think you should at least give it a shot?"

"I – I don't know."

"I'll put in a good word for you if you want," Lily said, eyes bright.

"Lily! Don't you dare!" Stella jerked so hard her hand hit the goblet that was resting in front of her, spilling the contents all down the bar table. Her two friends were in stitches as she tried to flag down the bartender to get a rag.

"That would be so humiliating," she moaned as she wiped up the fruity contents.

"I was teasing, Stell," Lily replied with a giggle.

"What about you guys? What's new?" Stella asked, trying to change the subject.

Ellis shrugged. "Not much. Classes, the usual. There's a cute guy in one of my classes, been trying to get his attention for weeks, now. No avail. I'm starting to give up hope."

Stella laughed. "I'm sure that's not true. He's probably playing hard to get."

"Hey!" Ellis cried. "I'm the one who's supposed to be playing hard to get!" Her comment only made Stella laugh harder.

After they had downed another cocktail each, Ellis turned to Stella. "Do you work tomorrow? Want to crash at the university? We can watch a film tonight." She stood up from her chair, slipping on her coat.

Stella mimicked her actions, gathering her hair out of her collar and buttoning up. "Sure," she replied. "I have a day off tomorrow, so it's perfect."

The three girls made their way out of the bar and found a small alley way in which to Apparate in. Within seconds, they were standing outside Ellis and Lily's building – the same building that Stella had lived in with all her friends last year.

"Stupid anti-Apparation spell around this bloody place," Ellis grumbled, bending down to take her shoes off. "If I have to walk another second in these things I will throw a tantrum."

To Stella's surprise, Ellis did not lead her to the front door to the building. Instead, Lily and Ellis led her across the street to a strip of flats.

"Did you guys buy a flat?!"

Lily jumped unnecessarily high to bounce onto the sidewalk. "Tell her, Ellis. Tell her how you left me with a freak roommate for a proper flat with a normal sized fridge and everything."

Ellis rolled her eyes. "My parents thought I needed to focus on my studies, so they paid for me to have a flat this year."

"But don't they realize how silly that is? You could easily just have parties and everything whenever you pleased," Stella responded.

"Hey, I never said they were smart. But they decided I needed to be out of the distracting environment of a bunch of kids running around together. Because Hogwarts wasn't like that at all."

"What was their response to that?"

"That Hogwarts was understandably for young children but now that I'm older my priorities should be shifting, blah blah blah."

"So she gets the flat and I get the roommate who is two minutes away from asking for a piece of Aunt Hermione's hair or Dad's eyelash or something. She's so weird I can hardly stand it."

"Lily!" Stella admonished, clapping a mouth over her hand to muffle her laughter. "You can't go saying things like that!"

"Well, it's true." The lift pinged, and the two girls led Stella to a door labeled 235. "She's creepily obsessed with my family. Of all the people at uni, I get stuck with her. I've been begging Dad to help me and switch places, but he said I just have to stick out the rest of term."

Lily threw herself down on the couch and flipped on the TV, and Ellis disappeared into her room. "Want comfier clothes?"

"Sure!" Stella called back. She hung her coat on the rack by the door, and made her way to the fridge for a glass of orange juice. She was taking her first sip when Ellis walked out, dressed in considerably comfier clothing, throwing a pair of black pyjama bottoms and a worn out navy long sleeve. Stella raised her empty glass in thanks and stuck it in the sink, heading into Ellis' room to change.

After they were settled comfortably on the couch, with knitted cream blankets around them and the TV on, Stella's mobile buzzed. Ellis was fiddling around with the remote, trying to find something for them to watch, so Stella leaned over it to grab her phone from the white side table beside the couch.

Unlocking it with a swipe of her thumb, she opened a new message from Louis.

**What are you doing tonight? Want to hang out?**

Stella quickly typed a reply with her thumbs.

_With Ellis and Lil_

**That's ok. Me and Max are bored. Can we crash?**

Stella looked up. "It's Louis. He's bored and wondering if him and Max can come over?"

Ellis shrugged. "Sure, as long as they're not lazy enough to drag themselves all the way across the street."

Stella giggled and relayed the message to Louis. His response was rapid-fire quick.

**Tell her we're bringing bug-repellant spray and our warmest jackets.**

Within minutes, Ellis' front door was alive with knocking. Pushing herself off the couch, Stella went to unlock it before crawling back onto the couch. "It's unlocked!"

It burst open. Max headed straight for the fridge, opening it and grabbing the milk carton out of the fridge.

"If you chug that from the container I will dye your blue, and I'm not even kidding," Ellis threatened from her spot on the couch. Max flashed her a wicked grin as he brought the carton to his lips. With a flick of her wand, Ellis spilled the milk all down the front of his shirt.

"Killjoy," Max muttered as he cleaned the mess with his own wand and reached for a glass.

Lily had turned to Louis to ask where the rest of their family was tonight. "Some are at Victoire's, actually. Fred and Dominique and James. I think that's what Dominique said. Al and Rose are at Harry's for something. Don't know where Roxanne is. Molly's studying. Lucy's with Lorcan. And Hugo is –

"-visiting home, he told me that," Lily cut in. "And none of them thought to come see me tonight?"

"Ok, and I'm chopped liver, apparently," Louis said. He sprawled against the coffee table on the rug covered floor. "When did we get so boring, though? Max and I came here for a bit of fun, since the family was being so dull tonight."

"Excuse me, we were about to settle down to a riveting film," Lily replied. "Just because you lot are boring doesn't mean we all are."

"We never do anything fun anymore," Max whined.

"Okay, what do you propose we do then? Because I just told you about my wild plans to watch a film and spoon peanut butter out of a jar and for some reason that's not good enough for you."

"I don't mean to be rude," Stella cut in," but there's really not much to do on a Thursday night."

"Let's go to Paris," Max called, setting his glass down in the sink.

"No, that's so cliché," Ellis replied. "Pick somewhere else."

Stella looked back and forth at her friends. "Are you lot feeling okay?"

"It's their newest kick," Lily replied listlessly, flicking through channels. "All of a sudden, they're world travelers. Apparently a peanut butter jar isn't good enough for these princesses."

Still confused, Stella sought out Louis for an explanation.

"It was Max's idea last month, that we Apparate to a new city and spend the night there. It's fun. More fun if you'd come, though. We should pick somewhere tonight."

A lump raised in Stella's throat, and not for the first time did she wonder if she made the right choice leaving last year.

On the flipside of that, her stomach did also fill with butterflies.

"Holland. Sydney. California. Canada, for Pete's sake. Can we just pick somewhere?" Max ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm not going to bloody Canada tonight," Lily grumbled, bundling down further in her blanket. "We can't go cross-continental either, stupid. Unless you became the most skilled Apparator in the country and didn't tell us."

"You're driving me mental, you know that?" Max twisted his eyebrow up to his forehead.

"Good," Lily shot back, but a grin gave her away. Max aimed his wand at her hair, and a muted strawberry pink coloured her red strands.

"Max!" Lily cried. "What did you do?"

"Trying to make you less fiery."

"Good luck," Ellis snorted.

"How about Amsterdam?" Louis suggested. "Haven't been there yet. Could be nice."

"Done deal. I love it. You're a genius, and one day I will marry you," Max said.

Stella pulled herself off the couch. "Mind if I change, El?"

"What mine is yours," Ellis replied, waving her hand at her. Stella padded her way into Ellis' room, yanking the closet door open and trying to control her breathing. Breathing deeply to calm her nerves, she shuffled items around and pulled out a thick knit cardigan and a brown pair of boots. Sliding out of the sweatpants and buttoning jeans over her hips, her fingers shook as she tried to fit the button through the slit of denim.

Lily and Ellis slammed the door open, Ellis pulling another jumper over her head as Lily examined her hair in the mirror.

"Y'know, I actually like it," she remarked, picking up a strand of dark pink hair.

"Or Max," Ellis said cheekily.

Stella left the room to find Louis waiting in the kitchen, forearms resting on the island. "Almost ready?"

She copied his stance, looking at the swirl of granite, strong and steady. She nodded silently.

"You all right?"

She nodded again, managing to smile at him thinly.

"Your pulse is racing." He pressed a finger to the inside of her wrist.

Beat of silence.

"Stell."

"What?"

"Spill."

"I'm good, Lou, really."

He snorted. "Your pulse suggests otherwise."

"Yeah, well, not much I can do to control that."

Another beat.

"I'm just chicken, that's all." She didn't mention the fact that her racing pulse could also have something to with him.

Louis shifted so that he was facing her. "You're nervous about heading to Amsterdam tonight?"

For the third time she nodded, hating her nerves.

"Sorry, then. I shouldn't have brought it up. Are you angry?"

"No! I want to go, it'll pass when we get there. It's dumb, I swear."

"What would help?"

Stella quirked a smile. "Tell me how fun it's going to be."

He grinned back at her. "That, I can do."

She listened to him weave stories about the city, about the energy-filled air and the lights, and the waters and the bridges, and she thought maybe she could live all her adventures through the sound of his voice.

The five of them made their way back to the front of the campus, and found a secluded area to Apparate from.

"Has anyone actually seen Amsterdam?" Max asked as they were huddled in the dark, wands out and ready to spin.

"Dad took me once when he was on business for a day. Think I remember the alley he took us to Apparate from," Ellis offered.

Max shrugged. "Good enough." He grasped her arm. Louis put a hand on her shoulder, and the girls all grasped hands. Ellis turned on the spot, and all of a sudden they were spinning rapidly.

They had landed in an alley, that much was clear. There was thin rails fixed on stairs and dark windows. A rat scurried by Stella's foot and she jumped. "Why don't we get out of here?"

Walking of the lane, they emerged to a bustling night, filled with stars. The night glowed like the light side of the moon. "What time is it here?"

"It's only one hour ahead of us, so it's ten," Louis answered, slipping beside her. He gave her a quick grin.

The group made their way into the night.

"My God, it's beautiful," Stella breathed, watching the way the light reflected off the water beneath the bridge. The reflection was clearer than a mirror. Lights from people's home shone, and the sky was as dark and rich as her indigo paint colour.

"Feeling better?" Louis asked quietly.

"Much. Thank you." She smiled up at him.

"What should we do first?" Max asked, bundling with an energy so recognizable, the one that needed to adventure, to create stories. The energy that built from the fear of missing out, the energy that desired to be free but was confined in a cage.

"Let's walk for a bit," Stella suggested. "Let's head for the bridge."

And so they did, the five of them, relaxed and casual. They talked about their days and their families, and then they talked about their future plans, and somehow the desire to adventure became replaced with contentment that was found in conversation built between friends.

The cobblestone paths were bumpy underneath their feet as they walked. Ever clumsy, Stella blushed as she lost her footing over one. Louis caught her on the crook of her elbow before she fell, and that made her blush deepen to an even darker crimson. A man playing an acoustic guitar was singing on the side of the sidewalk, his case wide open and filled with change. He gave the group a smile, and they stopped to watch for a moment, listening to his rich voice and the delicate plucking of his guitar strings. Stella shivered as she closed her eyes to listen to the music better. The song sounded like a honey gold. She wanted so badly to be able to capture everything in this moment with her paintbrush.

They continued walking, the last of the gold sound echoing lightly. Louis picked up her arm and tucked it into his own, grinning boyishly when she looked up at him, surprised.

It was simple. Uncomplicated.

As they crossed the bridge, they paused to watch the water beneath them, and Stella grew silent as she watched the thick waves glitter with orange light.

The truth was, they weren't doing anything less different here than they would have been doing in London that evening. All that had changed was the hour that they had lost when they had traveled through time. And maybe that was something in and of itself – who their time was spent with as opposed to where.

Louis' arm brushed against hers and she stole a look.

"Feels like home," she said quietly, so quietly it got lost with the wind so quickly she was surprised he caught it.

He laughed lightly. "You've never even been here, before, Stell."

She looked up to meet his gaze, his bright hazel eyes that stared back at her. "Not about the place," she replied.

She knew she was being fickle, but she wasn't quite brave enough with her words just yet.

But maybe he understood, because his hand slipped into hers.

They wandered around for a while longer. Lily had hopped onto Max's back and had fallen asleep there. Ellis cast a charm to make her feather-light, and the four who were still awake wandered around Amsterdam until midnight.

* * *

><p>maybe we found love right where we are.<p>

_Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran_

* * *

><p>notes: this one's a fun one to write. hope you liked it like I did! Thank you for taking the time to read.<p>

not jkr.


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